Finding the Balance

Since graduating from the apprenticeship program I find myself needing a balance.

While I was part of the apprenticeship program I was under a certain set of rules. Those rules governed my actions for two years. I was allowed some wiggle room and the ability to develop my own convictions. I had to develop my own convictions and standards my last few years at home before I left. I am realizing it is the same for the apprenticeship.

I didn't realize how much of God's word I received everyday for the past two years. The Word was there whether I wanted it or not. I didn't realize just how much I needed it until it wasn't there. I have to really search for the wisdom in the Word.

For the past few months I have been really convicted about my lazy pursuit of the Lord. I have been so... take it or leave it in my relationship with the Lord. Now that I am on my own I have realized just how much I do need the Lord. I feel the hole more acutely now then I ever have. I realize now how much more I need to live for others because here there is no designated ministry, I must find my own. If I am not looking, then I get caught up on myself and I loose sight of the Lord. When I am not serving the Lord by serving others I feel as if I am in a bog.

Last night at the evening church service we talked about being a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1-2). What does it mean to be a living sacrifice? "Christ died for me so the least I can do is live for Him" Pastor Crandall. That is so true. To die for Christ would be easy but to live now there is a challenge. To me being a living sacrifice is not really about me at all. It is about the people that are around that the Lord wants to love. I am simply the vessel that He chooses to use.

How do I keep focused on this? By the renewing of my mind through the the Word of God. The truth that the Lord has taught me this year is that my mind is not renewed just through reading the word but giving what I have learned to others. I can read all that I want but if I don't share it then I become a spiritual glutton.

So how do I find balance? Through being being filled then pouring myself out. Is that not what Christ came to show us. Not just how to die but more importantly how to live for Him and have eternal impact for Him.

Romans 12:1-2 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and perfect will of God."